Tuesday, May 16, 2006

what's goin on

The Marvin Gaye song has been going through my head lately.

Chris got a job offer in Santa Maria. I haven't been sleeping well since then. I don't want to move. I really don't want to move. There are many reasons, lots of them selfish. I love my house. I love where it is (ok, I don't care much for the politics here in cow town...but other than that) We are close to everything we like to do, and it is easy to get to anywhere we want to go.

If we moved down there, we would have to add 5 hours travel time to most anyplace we go (except for Disneyland) I can get to Reno/Tahoe in less than 3 hours. It only takes 5 to get to the ILs in Oregon.

Our life is here. Chris, God love him, goes to work and comes home. That is it, unless we go somewhere. Joseph and I OTOH, are very involved. He is a youth group leader, and he is in a band with his best friend. I am a parent leader at YG, a catechist, and a Eucharistic Minister at church. I don't want to start over. I am very shy IRL, and it is difficult for me to make friends.

There are lots of reasons I don't want to move, but the one that is most compelling to me is Kaya Michelle. I can't move away. What if her mother decides to abandon her like she did before? What if she comes to find us? I can't leave this house. I can't. It may be irrational, but that is the way it is. I am her Nana, and I have to be here for her.

Why couldn't they have offered him this job 5 years ago? There would have been no qualms about moving then:(

Luckily, they are now talking about making the job a temporary assignment....maybe a year. They would provide living accomodations for Chris, and Joseph and I would spend time there....most likely every other week or so. That would be doable.


We'll see...


Pez said...

{{hugs}} Shelly. I completely understand all of your reasons for not wanting to move but I think the reason of Kaya is the most striking.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, especially that this turns out to be just a temp assignment for Chris and that after the year he decides that where you are now is what is best for all of you.

Shelly said...

Thanks Denine:)

nancy1558 said...

If you do come down to Santa Maria let me know. I would love to meet up with you.

Shelly said...

I will, Nancy:)

Anonymous said...

Oh Shelly, do you remember the story about the mother who was reunited with her daughter who was abducted 14 years ago, the only reason she found her was because she kept her ex husbands surname. Thankfully her new husband totally agreed that it was a worthwhile reason. I totally understand your reluctance and hope Kaya comes back into your life very quickly.